


Like a Christmas Song of Love

by canyousonicmedoctor



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5536928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyousonicmedoctor/pseuds/canyousonicmedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gently, Therese pushes Carol back until their faces are far enough apart that Therese can just look. A year ago, she would have never thought this was possible. A year ago she didn’t know anything could feel like this; love so strong it makes her whole body ache when Carol isn’t around. Therese had no idea that it was possible to change so much in a year, to experience so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I might add onto this in the next few days (a part where Rindy visits them, more sugary fluffy stuff)
> 
> The title is taken from "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole with the word christmas added in by me

There’s nothing quite like the early hours of the morning of Christmas day on Madison Avenue. Fresh snow remains untouched by rushing cars or the thousands of footprints from people normally on their way to work. It’s as though all of New York City takes a breath, a moment of suspension, where nothing exists outside the lights in the shop windows and the lights on the Christmas trees in homes. 

Therese focuses her camera, capturing the grey light and white snow and twinkle of bright yellow lights. Now the scene will exist forever, a moment truly frozen in time. She cradles the camera to her chest, reminiscing on this time last year. So much has changed since then, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

A disgruntled murmur comes from behind her, and she turns around to see Carol still half-asleep, reaching for a body that isn’t there. `Dearest?’ she asks, her eyes still shut. The pet name brings a hint of a smile to Therese’s face.

Without a word, she abandons the camera on the nightstand- their nightstand- and returns to their bed. Even after almost ten months of living together, she still catches herself thinking about the space as Carol’s. Then she sees one of her photographs mounted on the wall, or her book on the shelf and she knows this is her space too. The realization always comes with the intangible warmth of true happiness.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, a warm hand slides into her own and wipes away the chill of the room. Carol gazes up at her, openly and affectionately and in a way that Therese will never grow accustomed to. Her free hand caresses Carol’s cheek before she leans down and connects their lips. The kiss is soft and languid. There are no obligations to work or society or anyone but Carol. If perfection did exist, it would live here in these moments. 

Soft pressure on her arm guides Therese back onto the bed. She has to break the kiss, but only for a moment before Carol is there again. Her lips press Therese back into the pillows. Therese wraps her hands around bare shoulders, holding Carol close. As Carol moves over her, Therese can feel the blanket shift and fall to the side. 

Cold air swoops in and bites at Therese’s shoulders and arms where her robe has been pushed aside. She pulls Carol closer to her in an attempt to block out the cold. In response, she feels Carol grab the blanket from behind and pull it over them until they are enclosed in a cocoon of warmth and love and utter perfection. 

Gently, Therese pushes Carol back until their faces are far enough apart that Therese can just look. A year ago, she would have never thought this was possible. A year ago she didn’t know anything could feel like this; love so strong it makes her whole body ache when Carol isn’t around. Therese had no idea that it was possible to change so much in a year, to experience so much.

`What are you thinking?’ The whispered words float around Therese, as familiar as the embrace she’s in. There isn’t anything she can say to express what she’s thinking, though. Instead, she kisses Carol once more, relishing the feeling of their lips pressed together.

When they finally break apart and Carol presses a final kiss to her jawline, Therese whispers back, `Merry Christmas.’ 

‘That’s right, I almost forgot.’ With that, Carol sweeps away the blanket and gets out of bed. Her robe rests over a chair, discarded from the night before. She pulls it on unhurriedly and without an ounce of shame in present company. Her every movement speaks of ease and comfort. 

Therese follows suit, her robe tied only loosely around her body. `I have something,’ she says, going to their tree where she’d stashed her gift the night before. It’s not much, but Rindy helped them decorate it.

`For you.’ When Therese returns, Carol has a small black box in her hands. It’s unwrapped and the velvet is soft in Therese’s hands. The top lifts open easily, revealing a small, gold ring. 

It isn’t much to look at, just a plain gold band polished to a shine. Carol takes it out of the box for her, holding it up so that Therese can see the inside of the band. Inscribed on the inner layer it reads, `Dearest’. It feels like a promise as much as anything else.

`Carol,’ Therese breathes out in awe. The idea of wearing the ring every day, knowing it’s from Carol, knowing it marks Therese as hers…it’s overwhelming and more than she could ever have asked for. 

`Do you like it?’ Carol asks. How could she not? Therese nods and Carol takes her left hand, slipping the ring onto her middle finger. It fits like a glove.

Therese hands Carol the box almost forgotten in her right hand. This year, no protests are made as Carol carefully unwraps the gift. Inside is another small, unmarked box, and inside that is a bottle of perfume. Specifically, the kind that Carol had once told her Harge would get for her every year. 

Carol holds the bottle tightly, her thumb running over the label over and over again. Her expression is unreadable and her posture impossibly still. Did Therese do something wrong? How could she think that trying to replace a gift from Carol’s ex-husband would be a good idea? For a moment she feels like she did a year ago: so young and foolish in front of a woman she has tried so hard to impress. Therese looks down at her feet, waiting for Carol to say something, anything.

No words come forth. Rather, Carol pulls her into a crushing hug, her arms soft and strong and entirely reassuring like a song of love that clings to her and holds her there. Therese nuzzles her face into the crook of Carol’s neck. Relief courses through her, reminding her that she isn’t the scared young girl she had been that long while ago. This is Carol and, no matter what, she is hers. 

`Merry Christmas, Therese,’ Carol murmurs, the sound muffled by her hair. Therese wishes she could capture this moment in time, the perfect stillness that comes from holding and being held. 

Her memories of this Christmas will just have to suffice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Releasing her hand, Carol bends down to run a hand through Rindy’s hair. ‘Now I have an idea. Why don’t you and Aunt Therese set up your trains while I go make dinner? Does that sound good?’ Rindy glances at Therese in that discerning way that only kids manage to have. Then the little girl smiles and it damn near rips a hole in Therese’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised another installment and here it is! A little bit of family fluff to bring in the New Year :)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at flxngoutofspxce.tumblr.com (i also post my fics there)

If Therese knows one thing, and one thing alone, it’s that Carol is anything but predictable. Even after months of being by her side, she’ll say or do something that catches Therese completely off guard. Maybe it’s what comes from finally being free to just live. After years of living in denial, Carol deserves the freedom to be as unpredictable and hones as she can.

So when Carol insists that she stay for Rindy’s Christmas visit, all Therese can do is smile and say, ‘Okay.’

The plan Carol and Harge agreed upon is for Rindy to come over at four and stay until after dinnertime. Whenever Therese things about the briefness of the visits Carol has with her daughter, she can’t help the gnawing sense of guilt that eats away at her stomach. 

Carol always insists she’s fine after Rindy leaves. Therese pays attention, though, and sees the pain in her eyes. Those are the nights Therese holds her a little tighter, kisses her a little rougher, and tries her hardest to erase the sadness.

It’s 3:30 and Carol won’t stop staring at the clock on the wall, her third cigarette in the last fifteen minutes dangling absently from her fingers. Therese flits around the apartment, cleaning up. Of course, Carol is in no state to help, but Therese doesn’t mind. Anything she can do to ease Carol’s nerves. 

With the dishes from lunch done, the bed made, and every one of Rindy’s presents arranged under the tree, there’s nothing to do but wait for her to arrive. Therese goes to Carol who has moved to the window. Snow falls delicately, collecting on the windowsill and passing cars. She wraps her arms around Carol from the back, her chin barely meeting Carol’s shoulder. The scent of Carol’s perfume mingles with the smoke. The smell is so distinctly Carol, and it makes Therese smile. In the moments that pass, Therese can feel Carol slowly relax against her, taking comfort in their closeness. Nothing Therese could say would ease Carol’s nerves, but she is more than willing to give this.

It’s times like these that let Therese know all of this is truly worth it; that Carol won’t someday wake up and resent Therese for being the thing that separated her from her daughter. Times like these remind her that this was as much Carol’s choice as it was hers, and she’d sooner die than let Carol regret choosing this.

Before long, the door buzzer sounds through the apartment. The loud, harsh noise doesn’t belong in the quite peace of their embrace. It forces them apart, but not before Therese can place a quick kiss on the back of Carol’s neck. The responding smile she receives is all she needs to be able to face Harge at Carol’s side. 

Self-consciously, Therese tucks her hair behind her ears as Carol opens the door. First Harge comes into view, then Rindy standing at his side. Therese envies Harge for getting to witness the expression on Carol’s face just then.

‘Rindy, my darling girl,’ Carol exclaims, the joy in her tone unmatched by anything. Rindy’s face suddenly appears over her mother’s shoulder as Carol sets her on her hip. She looks quizzically over at Therese.

‘I’ll be back to pick her up around nine,’ Harge says. For all the words effect Carol, he could be yelling at the sea. There is only room for Rindy in her world right now. 

‘Have a good night, Harge.’ Then the door is shut and it’s just Carol and Rindy and Therese standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, not quite knowing what to do. 

The thing was, she never actually stayed for the visits. She always made an excuse of some kind and didn’t come home until well after she knew Rindy would be gone. It’s not that she doesn’t like children- she gets along great with them mostly. With Rindy, though…it was the potent combination of not wanting to intrude and the crippling fear the little girl wouldn’t like her. After all, the last time she had seen Rindy was even before the last Christmas.

Carol fixes Therese in place with a small smile as she begins walking towards her. ‘Dear one, do you remember mommy’s friend, Aunt Therese?’ She actually feels her brain short circuit as Rindy looks at her with wide eyes. Rindy shakes her head no and Carol laughs. ‘She’s going to be staying with us for dinner if that’s alright.’ When Rindy nods and offers her an uninhibited smile, Therese feels the breath return back to her body. 

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

Turning to face the Christmas tree, Carol asks, ‘Would you like to open your presents now, or after dinner?’ Of course there’s no question about it. Even with the excitement of presents, Rindy still has the manners to tack a ‘please’ onto the end of her ‘now’, before she zips off to inspect what is underneath the tree.

Finally, Carol looks over at Therese. She absolutely radiates happiness as she holds out a hand for Therese to take. Here, connected to Carol while watching Rindy open her presents, Therese feels Carol’s world widen enough for her to fit in there too. 

Side pressed against side, the sound of wrapping paper being ripped open fills the apartment. ‘Thank you for staying,’ Carol murmurs, her lips grazing the edge of Therese’s ear. It’s enough to send a pleasant shiver down her spine. She squeezes Carol’s hand.

‘Mommy, mommy look,’ Rindy exclaims, holding up Therese’s favorite present. Last Christmas Rindy had enjoyed her train set so much that Therese helped picked out a new one to give her this year. From the way the little girl beams, she can tell she made the right decision.

Releasing her hand, Carol bends down to run a hand through Rindy’s hair. ‘Now I have an idea. Why don’t you and Aunt Therese set up your trains while I go make dinner? Does that sound good?’ Rindy glances at Therese in that discerning way that only kids manage to have. Then she smiles and it damn near rips a hole in Therese’s chest. 

‘I’ll leave you to it then,’ Carol says, pressing a kiss to Rindy’s forehead as she stands. Therese can’t help but notice how Carol looks at Rindy like she’s the sun her whole life orbits around. Therese finds she doesn’t mind being the moon. 

The lights from the tree illuminate Rindy’s face and Therese is taken aback by just how much she looks like Carol. ‘Do you like trains?’ she asks. Therese stifles a laugh. She sounds like her mother too.

‘Yes, actually, I like them a lot.’ 

When Therese looks up, it’s to see Carol watching them from around the corner. Before returning her attention to Rindy, she shoots Carol a reassuring smile, content in the knowledge that, just for now, everything is exactly the way it should be.


End file.
